November 08, 2007

A note to the orange cat and the grey cat

My first point: You are both too OLD to be catching mice. Neither of you missed catching mice for the last seven years or so. One of you has nearly no teeth. The other tends to be scared of shadows. What does this suggest to you? Right, too OLD.

My second point: If you persist in the delusion that you are not too old to be catching mice then the rules are that you either;

(a) Eat the damn thing and give it a decent burial in your digestive tract; OR
(b) Leave the corpse outside somewhere. Preferably in the neighbour's yard under a bush or something where no-one (particularly not me) has to deal with it.

My third point: Any mouse either of you can catch must be pretty near death anyway given that you are both no longer spring kittens as discussed above. This means diseased, old or possibly poisoned. You don't want to be having with any germ-infested, stringy or strychnine-laced mice. You have been warned.

PS Corpsified mice are gross. Don't gross out the person who wields the can opener. Just sayin'.

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