Cat update: Not fight. Anal gland abscess (OUCH). He had an operation yesterday and is currently hiding under my bed singing a sad little cat opera that goes something like "Oh my butt hurts and I've got a stupid collar on my head and I think I'll go and eat worms". Which is understandable and probably close to what my reaction to butt surgery would be. Poor baby. He will be fine apart from the bit where he has to have more surgery in a few months to remove said glands so it can't happen again.
And I will be here. Doing this to recover from contemplating the expense of cat surgery.